I don't care if i'll be manorexic. at least ill die happy.

I don't care if I'll be manorexic. at least ill die happy.
I don't care if I'll be manorexic. at least ill die happy.

Noticed why I've been away from the limelight lately? I have been packing on weight like Oprah on crack. It's been a month and i swore myself to starvation but my body just doesn't seem to be willing enough to help me in this narcissistic simple endeavor to look rail thin.



And I am not even joking.

My friend told me that i did not exert any effort at all. Shes dead WRONG. She has no idea on the lengths i was able to reach just to stay on at least a hundred and tenty. Urgh.

did extensive research, look what i found.



What do you think? How does it make you feel?

Cheers!

Everyday There's A Gossip To Spill

Everyday There's A Gossip To Spill
Everyday There's A Gossip To Spill

Sadly, i won't be one with the crabby handers. (i know, i even surprise myself sometimes)



I manage to sneak down and give y'all a hint that i did not die. But my-oh-my. Look at me?! This is what happens to my face when i am grounded. I have to go back to my manorexia diet. God. My mother just lets me eat and eat and eat. I know she's enjoying..

I need a pep talk.

Do i just look absolutely fugly and guy-ish here?

Cheers!

p.s. And im not even in the mood for a fashion moment. Something's reeealy wrong.

She Bagged The Crown And She's Taking It Home: Miss World 2008

She Bagged The Crown And She's Taking It Home: Miss World 2008
She Bagged The Crown And She's Taking It Home: Miss World 2008





Zdravstvuj! Last Saturday in Johannesburg THE city of gold SA, this young blonde Kseniya Sukhinova was crowned Miss World 2008 followed by Trinidad and Tobago,and India, leaving 106 sorry girls dreamy of the crown, wanting to be in their place. Ha. Sorry ladies, the spot says: Good for three only unless one of them was rumored to be married and would decline pageant duties for a political career only to know in the sorry end that everything was a big mistake.

Moving on..

This former model was no angel to the other contestants when she charmed the judges head on while answering the question through a translator on why she should be crowned the winner.

"I think I can help people and I want to help people and today if I walk away with this crown I will do that,"




Uhm, ohkaaay, enough fierceness already, not really the answer i expected but whatevs, i still think she is gorgeous with those naturelle blonde and those blue eyes, She is my perfect barbie doll. On further examination with this girly girl embellished with jewelry i have concluded, and take a look at this,



Yup, obesity is a dying breed alright. Even the loveliest of jewelries cannot shy away from the piercing eyes of your diet queen. All Hail to my stick thin diet! Yes?
Which reminds me, where's that pill? i know it was just here somewhere, oh well, I'm taking another pill for a pop.

Tell me whatchathink?!

Cheers!
photo credits: getty

Lets Recite: A Dollar A Day Keeps Weight Gain Away

Lets Recite: A Dollar A Day Keeps Weight Gain Away
Lets Recite: A Dollar A Day Keeps Weight Gain Away


So i was surfing the net to further research on my original manorexia stick thin diet, lo and behold, i stumbled upon a very interesting way of dieting. Ladies and fembots these are my new dietitians, Christopher and Kerri, well they don't have the whole manorexia thing going on but i am choosing this couple for their superb innovation of cost cutting and weight loss rituals. Say hi kiddies..

Well Christopher and Kerri are both teachers, one day by some conspiracy of heaven and hell, i dont know which, they started a very peculiar and interesting way of spending a dollar a day. Seriously, just a dollar, as in, 1$. And that's in the language i am almost familiar with. I was just blown away by these peoples choice of recreational fun; Which by the way, is charming me head on. You can check them out here.

Moving on...

Going over their site, which by the way is small and very informative, i was gobbsmacked with inspiration that i just got a pen and paper and started to jot down what i think would work best for my 65 pound choppping spree.




Take that for one dollar. I just have to bear with this rewarding sacrifice for a bit of time, who knows i will be like a walking cancer in no time already.

Anyway, speaking of such rewarding tragedies, this is my version of Dorothy Parker's Syptom Recital:

"My soul is crushed, my spirit sore;
I do not like me any more.
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.
I ponder on the narrow house.
I shudder at the thought of men....
I will be anorexic again."

Tell me whatchathink?!

Cheers!

So I'm On A Diet

So I'm On A Diet
So I'm On A Diet






Maybe its my inability to take myself out of this damn depression. Maybe its the continuous waste of money i spend on rather sinful food. Maybe its the continuous amplifying of the novelty songs and the karaoke songs outside my house (Independence ended months ago biyatch-ess!). or Bryan's juicy blog. Whichever may, i am rather feeling heavy today.

Woke up around 11 in the morning and i just felt so heavy. It's been moths since i last took the weighing scale out of my closet, and when i tried myself for weight measurements i froze to my knees. The numbers 1, 6, and 5 were blissfully flashing on the scale and i have not even prepared myself for the expected frame. I mean, i am prepared for the unexpected, but I'm not prepared for the expected. makes sense? no? anyhoo 165 is not my normal, i am 65 pounds heavier, way heavier than my expected weight.

So i revised a plan, I'm going on a diet.




Lunch, i helped myself to tasty meal, anyone care to join me? I call this the original manorexia stick thin diet, It's a daily dose of Reductil (weight loss pills) and vit. e (skin obsessed whore) until desired weight is achieved. I'm just weeks away from the most important event of this year and it is important that i look like a walking cancer and fabulous, Agree? no?

Anyway, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that i would be able to chop a lot of blubber out of this useless gobbing machine. These food, they're just much to purtee for me to turn my back on them. Sometimes i just wish that my appetite would be control operated, but then again, wishing for it makes me less of what i already am and more closer to what i am afraid to see. Sorry, but making peace with my imperfection just doesn't topple my list. for now. until i find all excuses to give up. Ha.

Speaking of appetite control, i know one girl who would definitely fight tooth and nail, and claw just to get that manorexic statuesque. Remember her? She's our friend, Miranda's asistant, the old Emily.

"See, I'm on this new diet, well, I don't eat anything. And right before I feel I'm going to faint, I eat a cube of cheese. I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight"


One more number added to that scale and i swear to God i would force myself to flash that magic middle finger and shove it down my throat. A battle inside my head: to barf or not to barf? to cheese or not to cheese?

note to self: liposuction is and will always be beyond me.. yet

Oh Sasha P. how do you do it? Anyway, Let me just sleep off this question before i become dreamy again.




and oh Emily? That's all.


Cheers!
photo credits: Flickr