So I'm On A Diet
So I'm On A Diet
Maybe its my inability to take myself out of this damn depression. Maybe its the continuous waste of money i spend on rather sinful food. Maybe its the continuous amplifying of the novelty songs and the karaoke songs outside my house (Independence ended months ago biyatch-ess!). or Bryan's juicy blog. Whichever may, i am rather feeling heavy today.
Woke up around 11 in the morning and i just felt so heavy. It's been moths since i last took the weighing scale out of my closet, and when i tried myself for weight measurements i froze to my knees. The numbers 1, 6, and 5 were blissfully flashing on the scale and i have not even prepared myself for the expected frame. I mean, i am prepared for the unexpected, but I'm not prepared for the expected. makes sense? no? anyhoo 165 is not my normal, i am 65 pounds heavier, way heavier than my expected weight.
So i revised a plan, I'm going on a diet.
Lunch, i helped myself to tasty meal, anyone care to join me? I call this the original manorexia stick thin diet, It's a daily dose of Reductil (weight loss pills) and vit. e (skin obsessed whore) until desired weight is achieved. I'm just weeks away from the most important event of this year and it is important that i look like a walking cancer and fabulous, Agree? no?
Anyway, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that i would be able to chop a lot of blubber out of this useless gobbing machine. These food, they're just much to purtee for me to turn my back on them. Sometimes i just wish that my appetite would be control operated, but then again, wishing for it makes me less of what i already am and more closer to what i am afraid to see. Sorry, but making peace with my imperfection just doesn't topple my list. for now. until i find all excuses to give up. Ha.
Speaking of appetite control, i know one girl who would definitely fight tooth and nail, and claw just to get that manorexic statuesque. Remember her? She's our friend, Miranda's asistant, the old Emily.
"See, I'm on this new diet, well, I don't eat anything. And right before I feel I'm going to faint, I eat a cube of cheese. I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight"
One more number added to that scale and i swear to God i would force myself to flash that magic middle finger and shove it down my throat. A battle inside my head: to barf or not to barf? to cheese or not to cheese?
note to self: liposuction is and will always be beyond me.. yet
Oh Sasha P. how do you do it? Anyway, Let me just sleep off this question before i become dreamy again.
and oh Emily? That's all.
photo credits: Flickr